Reflections archive April 2008

Reflections Archive
May - July 2008

April 29, 2008

A very, very long time ago … I wrote a children’s book
about a journey in foster care. Basically – a mama
loves a baby, mama gets sick so baby goes to foster
care. Foster family love baby, baby bonds. Mama gets
better. Baby gets to go home but is now torn since
loves 2 families. Foster mom releases him.

To me, this is the “best case” scenario. Everyone loves
this child, the system works like it’s supposed to … and
yet there’s still collateral damage. (This book is at the
printer, to be ready for sale in the next week or so!)

Along with the book is a song I’ve written to correspond
with the story. Plus, I thought it would be nice to have a
DVD slideshow with the words being read … for the
little ones who cannot read yet. All this will be included
with each book.

Next, I’ve written a song called “Someone Pick Me”. It’s
about those – whether in foster care or waiting to be
adopted, that have not been claimed yet. I’ve made
this into a music video of sorts with photos of children
who are already adopted. Hopefully, it pulls at the
heartstrings. To see that video, click the link:
"Someone Pick Me"
Finally, there are numerous other songs on a CD for
related type subjects.

I decided to get this all together … finally … as I’m
headed to the Cry of the Orphan Summit in Ft.
Lauderdale. I don’t know if I’ll have the opportunity to
show these to anyone or not, but I’m going to be
prepared just in case. Funny hat will kick you in the
butt and get your gears into action.

I’m looking forward to the Summit … to exchange ideas,
get some new direction/thoughts for our Orphan care
ministry, to talk with people with like interests … all
good things.

I’ll certainly let everyone know how it went and what
comes out of this new venture.

When I return, I'm looking forward to having the CDs
and book all ready to go and some Church
Conferences set up.

May 4, 2008

How many shoes do you have in your closet?

Probably several … athletic

shoes, casual shoes,

dress shoes, boots, sandals. Some people have

hundreds of shoes.

When we adopted Zoe, she had on the cutest

little yellow and red sandals

with a rabbit on

them.

Trouble is … they were several sizes too

small and

were actually leaving a indentation on

her

feet. But for some reason,

even though they

weren’t comfortable, she didn’t want us to take

them

off. I finally was able to coax them off her by

offering a new pair.

There are 143 million orphans of the world … Zoe

was just one. How many

more have no shoes

ill properly fitting shoes? I was wondering … what

if I could take some shoes to just a few of

them?

What if we went a step further and washed their

feet first? John 13

outlines how Jesus washed

the feet of the disciples and told us to do the

same.

What if we could go one step further by praying

and helping put those little feet on a path

towards

God? Psalm 40:2-5 says: He lifted me out of the

slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he

set my feet

on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He

put a new song in my mouth, a

hymn of praise to

our God. Many will see and fear and put their

trust in the LORD. NIV

We’ve decided to help … one pair of shoes at a

time.

What are you going to do about the 143

million orphans of the world?

May 25, 2008

3 years ago today, a little girl was born halfway around
the world. I don't know if the birthmother was happy,
sad, scared .. other? But as this tiny little girl emerged
to the world, something was very, very wrong. Within
minutes, the extent of the "damage" was all too real.

Over the next few days, it's unclear what happened.
What we DO know is that 5 days later, this tiny little girl
was found in the middle of the forest in the middle of
nowhere China. This very desolate area is not
frequented. She was clearly placed there to die.

But God had other plans.

She was taken to the police station and then the
orphanage for a month. Eventually a bed opened for her
at China Care (American foundation) where she
received excellent care and love. They provided her
with 2 operations. Soon, she went to a loving foster
home.

Then one day we found her on a Waiting Child list. She
was our little girl. We hurried to get paperwork done.
We got to China less than a month after her 2nd
birthday. There was very little fan fare for this birthday
(they're not big in China).

Today is Zoe's 3rd birthday but her first home with us. It
will also be the first one in which she is celebrated. Her
actual birthday was traumatic. Her 1st was spent in a
facility, the day passing unnoticed. Her second birthday
was the time she went from her loving foster home to
the group facility.

I reflect back on the many, many changes and traumas
that have already come Zoe's way. The heartache, the
pain, the abandonment, the losses. Yet ... she is so
strong, so happy. She is a survivor. You'd never know
all the things that have happened during this little girl's
life.

So today sweet Zoe, I shout from the rooftops, "I'm so
happy you were born! I know my life is better because
you're in it. You have always been wanted. You are
celebrated!" I want to make each and every day
special. But today, I especially want to start to "undo"
some of the wrongs you've suffered ... starting on the
day of your birth.

Click HERE to see Zoe's newest video

Princess Zoe, love of my life ... Happy Birthday!!

July 6, 2008
Life ... it never ceases to amaze me. The complexities.
The subtleties.

Recently, our dear friends lost their son. David was a
soldier in Iraq. For years, we've all prayed for his
protection, his safe return home. Somehow, this isn't
the way anyone expected him to come home. The
grief. The overwhelming grief.

Not mine exactly as I didn't know this young man very
well. But the whole situation. The Mother and Father
were surrounded by family and friends. I was amazed at
how many friends this couple had - friends from 30 plus
years ago, friends from across the miles. I was amazed
at how many friends David has. There were 15
pallbearers. The whole front row of the church was
these strong, handsome young men ... all devastated at
the loss of their good friend.

Dan got to say a few words at the service. The whole
time I was just praying. I could tell how emotional this
was for him. He was just hoping to honor David, to
share hope. I think he did a great job on a task that no
one ever wants to do ... a funeral.

So then life goes on. How do you pick up and get back
to life? I'm not sure. I know I'm not the same person.
I've been changed forever. Probably for the best. I
know I hugged my kids a little harder these past few
weeks.

Dan's funeral message also included a challenge to
life. I have decided to throw myself in my life cause. I'm
reoriented back to what I know I've been called to do.
It's the scripture at the top of my page from Proverbs 31:
8 "Speaking for those who cannot speak for
themselves."

I continue to write and sing songs that move people. I
continue to write books that stir emotions and inspire
people to do more. I continue to fundraise so we can go
to China and make a difference in the lives of orphans.

Challenge. Hope. Live.

July 11, 2008

Many military operations have the motto of "no one left
behind". This reminds me of my trip to China to bring one
orphan, Zoe, home.

While at the orphanage, I was moved by the rows and rows
of cribs full of crying babies. One toddler boy caught my eye
from behind the glass wall. He reached out his arms
begging me to pick him up from his crib. Tears poured
down his face and yet I couldn't get to him.

If they would have let me, I would have brought him home
too! My husband reminded me that we had done a lot, that
we were "saving" one. I hugged Zoe tighter.

I vowed right then that I would some day go back and help
those left behind.

That little boy's face still haunts my dreams. Yet he is just
one of the 143 million orphans who have been left behind. I
can no longer sit on my comfortable couch and hope that
"someone" helps.

I am reminded by Matthew 25:40 "If you've done this unto
the least of these, you've done it unto me."

Will you please join me in helping those who have been left
behind ... one child at a time?

July 28, 2008

Weeks ago, my kids came down with strep. Crazy ...
teach children to share and then they do ... EVERYTHING.
sigh

Eventually, I stopped ignoring MY symptoms and went to
the doctor. My throat was so sore, I could barely
swallow, there were white bumps all over my throat and
there was this painful pocket on my tonsil growing bigger
by the day. As a singer and speaker, I figured my throat
and ability to talk were important.

Why the hesitation? I've had 5 antibiotics and each one
caused a rash ... I'm allergic to each one. So with great
dread, I swallowed my new antibiotic on Friday. NOTHING!
Yippee ... I've found one I'm not allergic to. Saturday, I
happily swallowed the next pill. Bump. Bump. Bump.
Bump. It couldn't be! I was ... allergic. So I stopped
taking the pill and started on Benadryl. All the other
rashes cleared within the day.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday ... more and more bumps every
day. Back to the Doctor. He prescribed yet another
antibiotic! Yeah, right! Like that pill is passing my lips.
Saturday, Sunday ... still more hives than the day before. I
want to rip my skin off! I'm covered from head to toe (it's
even in my scalp). Sigh.

So today, I call the allergist and they can get me in
Wednesday. Maybe they can figure out what the heck is
wrong with me and how to fix it.

It got me thinking about a life-lesson metaphor. (The
teens in our church call me the "Metaphor Queen".)
Allergies are a hyper-sensitivity to things we shouldn't be
hyper-sensitive to. What in my life do I pay more attention
to than I should? What do I over-react to? When do I
make mountains out of mole-hills?

So I pray (as I scratch) ... God, help me have the
perspective that YOU have. Help me see things as YOU
do. Help me not be overly sensitive to things. Instead,
help me react in just the right amount ... not too little or
too much, but balanced.

And as a result of this prayer, He's given me a peace that
passes understanding. I was hoping He'd take away the
hives. But instead, He's given a peace during the trial. It
reminds me of the song, "Sometimes He calms the
storm. Other times He calms His child." Thanks for
Peace Dad in the middle of the storm.

Sept 8, 2008

Where to begin? Since I last posted (7/28) ... a lot has happened.
My father, Ben (age 62) was diagnosed with end stage heart
failure out of the clear blue. He'd been told just the day before
that his heart was strong! He had major open heart surgery,
replacing his aortic valve, repairing his mitral valve and doing a
double bypass on what they called a "sick heart". Even the
doctors didn't think he'd survive and yet he did. I've heard even
the nurses and doctors use the word, "Miracle" in reference to
him. Prayer works.

Meanwhile, my rash got diagnosed as Guttate Psoriasis. Topical
steroid and it's mostly gone after 7 weeks of misery. Just
praying this doesn't rebound (but it seems to be ... new ones
cropped up yesterday.)

Finally, years ago I was told I had mitral valve prolapse and it
meant nothing - to ignore heart symptoms. So I did... for 20
years. Until Dad. This was a wake-up call that said "Perhaps
you shouldn't be ignoring heart symptoms." I went and had an
Echocardiogram done. The news has temporarily postponed
our China trip unfortunately.

Sure enough, it showed some "issues". Mitral valve prolapse
with regurgitation (the kind that is NOT nothing), a tricuspid valve
with regurgitation and pulmonary hypertension. This is not the
kind of hypertension that is high blood pressure. This is
pressure on the artery that leads from heart to lungs. If that has
a problem, you can die. Normal pressure is up to 25 (with
average being about 12-16). Mine is 46... considered a moderate
problem.

When I saw the cardiologist, he said, "This is very concerning."
So we'll be running a battery of tests - echo with bubble, stress
test, CT of the arteries, chest x-ray, holter monitor, etc.
Hopefully these will determine the cause of the issue and the
possible best treatment. The current information is that the
average person lives about 1-3 years after diagnosis.

To which I say, "No thank you."

I know I'm in God's hands. The worse the prognosis - the more
God's hand is right in the middle of it I'm convinced. I'm going to
see my kids grow up, go to college, get married, have babies
(hopefully in that order). I'm going to be old and grey in the
distant, distant future.

I saw a quote recently, "Don't tell God how big your storm is. Tell
your storm how big your God is." I like it!!

Oct 11, 2008

2 months ago, I was given a fatal diagnosis. OK ... where
to begin?? If you look at the last entry of "Today's
Reflections", you'll see the background ... but the quick
version is ... pulmonary hypertension and several heart
defects. Symptoms kept getting worse and worse.

September 23 I had a heart cath. They were looking for 3
things. 1) Pulmonary hypertension cause and
measurement. 2) Blockages or dead parts of my heart.
3) Irregular heartbeat. Each of these diagnoses had at
least 2 tests confirm them.

God did a miracle! While in there, the Cardiologist was
unable to find any of these troubles. He said I had NO
blockage, NO dead part of my heart, NO pulmonary
hypertension. Period. In fact, the Cardiologist said,
"You're going to live 150 years." I said, "I'll take it!"

The only thing that is left is the irregular heartbeat. Such
a minor, minor thing. I'm wearing a 30 day event heart
monitor to try to catch what is going on. I've caught a
resting heart rate that goes as high as 212 and as low as
29.

Makes me think of the 3 little bears. Too hot, too cold,
just right.

Of course, I get a metaphor out of this. I'm a very, very
extreme person. I love life. I'm a passionate person.
Whatever I feel is going to be BIG. I'm angry BIG. I'm sad
BIG. I'm happy BIG. etc.

They're thinking I might need a pacemaker. I was
wondering what a heavenly pacemaker will be. I'd love to
be in perfect balance and harmony with God and life. Not
too much, not too little ... just right.

So Dear Lord ... how do I become Baby Bear? Just right.

To see Reflections
from May-October
2008

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from November08-
August 09

To see Reflections
from April 2008